A Letter To A College Freshman
Hey, you.
You are in college now. You’re taking your first steps in your life as an adult, learning how to live and decide many things on your own. While I wouldn’t say my college years were perfect, it was some of the best years I’ve ever had so far and I truly you hope have the same, if not better experience.
With this, I hope to leave you a few points of reflection that I hope you take the time to think about as you enter this next chapter of your life:
1. These are the years of your self-discovery.
Don’t be afraid to break out of your own notions of who you are. As the world changes around you, you’ll also become a different person. Refrain from being judging — for yourself and other people. You’d be surprised to know the many ways people learn to cope with life as they age. Be open to the many ways you could become more of yourself.
You may try things you never even think of doing, meet people you’ll never imagine meeting or live a completely different life than you planned. Take time every now and then to think about who you are and why you are doing the things that you do.
Before you make decisions, understand your own motivations for doing and acting the way you do. When you know who you are, no one can use it against you or make you do anything that isn’t true to how you want to live your life.
2. Freedom has a price — Responsibility.
When you were younger, many of your choices were decided by the people around you. This is the time in your life where you can finally take ownership of your choices. The only way to really live a life of no regrets is to make sure you just don’t let life or other people make the decisions for you.
Continuously define and redefine what you perceive to be a meaningful life and work towards them the best way you know how. While no matter how hard you work life never guarantees any real success, seek to always comfort yourself you did the best you could the best way you know how.
3. Be kind to yourself.
At some point, the world will be harsh on you. It will try to beat down your optimism, idealism and joy for life. You will be beat up by other people’s expectations or worse, your own. You might work very hard for a substandard score and even fail a class you’ve tried your best in. When the world feels against you, I hope you learn to be kind to yourself.
Thank and take care of the body that has tided you over all your difficult moments in life. Eat good food, go out with your friends, get tipsy (in a safe place), travel, do art, etc. The whole world can be against you but I hope you look at yourself in the mirror every day and be able to say “No matter what happens, I am on my side.” I hope you repeat this as often as you need to. Trust me, these days will come more often than you expect.
4. Fall in love with yourself as a work in progress.
Always, always remember that you are a work in progress. It’s never about where you start but how far you’re willing to go. You may have peers that appear to have a head start in life and there will be many times you feel like you’re falling behind. Remember that life’s a marathon and not a race.
Don’t let anyone make you feel embarrassed to try to be a better version of yourself. Everyone who is a master at something once looked really stupid doing it for the first time. College is a great time to look stupid so take that chance! Learning never stops, not even when school ends.
5. Be around people who try.
Surround yourself with people trying to do great things. Even if all your friends are failing at something, it’s still better than being around people who don’t try at all. It will be so tempting to do the bare minimum when the people around you are the kind who just want to coast through life.
Be happy for the people around you who succeed. Don’t worry if it isn’t your time yet. Just because it takes a bit longer to get recognition, it doesn’t mean the work you’re doing is for nothing or that you’ll never amount to anything. Just do your best and stay the course. Your time will come when it’s meant to and the people who have been with you on your journey will be just as happy for you when it does.
6. Your thoughts and feelings are valid but they don’t control you.
Your thoughts and feelings are important because they tell you subconscious things about yourself and the way you perceive the world — things that anger you, make you sad or happy. But always remember that just because you think or feel a certain way, doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re true. Don’t be afraid to admit when you were coming from a less informed place, hurt other people, rushed into conclusions or let your emotions get the best of you. Problems, especially the important ones, are complex and are rarely black and white. Always remember that your power lies in how you respond to the world and you can always choose how to do that.
7. When all else fails, pray.
There will be many times in your life from here that will be very difficult and make you question your motivations and perseverance. Many times you will ask God if He is allowing these things to happen to you because He’s telling you they’re not for you or if He’s giving them to you to make you strong enough to handle the journey that comes with it. For these moments, the best thing you can really do to discern between the two is pray. I hope that you realize there are many, many ways to pray, but the most important is learning how to pray with your life. Let your life be a testimony of what faith can do.
I hope these reflections will help you when they need to. Always know that you are stronger than you think you are and even the on the days you are not, there are many of us who love, support and will be there for you. Be brave and don’t get life get the best of you. Remember not to take life too seriously as we were never meant to live perfect lives or be perfect people.
Now, go have an adventure.
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This is a letter I wrote for my younger sister who is entering her first year of university this year that I hope will be able to help other young people too.
