4 Ways To Cope With Homesickness
When I was first deciding to move out, one of my points of concern were that I was going to miss my family. Though I have experienced living in different places for extended periods of time. However, it’s still different for when one decides to live away from home indefinitely.
Many Filipino families like mine are geographically separated due to work and educational opportunities. Many of them are forced by circumstance and don’t really have a choice but to be away from those they love. My parents who are both from Iloilo spent their early married years trying to make it Manila. They managed to build a comfortable life, but eventually decided to put up their businesses back in Iloilo where they felt they could contribute more to society. Due to the opportunities for work and education that are present in Manila, most of us siblings have decided to settle here. At most, we see our parents for a weekend or two each month. On busier periods, we only have a complete family dinner every few months.
Thankfully, technology has progressed far enough to make the distance a little bit more bearable. Here are a few tips on how to deal with missing your family:
1. Have a family messaging app
Our family uses both Facebook Messenger and Viber to send everyone a general messages about news that we find interesting, plans we have over the weekend or simply how to ask how each other is. Apps like these aren’t just good for your friends, they’re also good to keep in touch with family. Send over photos of what you had for lunch, talk about what happened at school or work. Your parents will appreciate mundane conversations, if only to comfort them with the fact that no matter how busy you can be, you’ll make time for them because they’re important to you.
2. Cook their favorite food
Taste is a powerful thing to evoke childhood memories. When I spent my internship abroad, I brought packets of Filipino ready-mix flavor packs to cook meals that reminded me of home. Every now and then I’d cook and eat lechon kawali, sinigang, lengua or adobo to remember dinners at home and the conversations we’d share. Whenever I’d miss my parents in particular, batchoy and chicken inasal always does the job.
3. Buy things for them
It’s amazing that we live in an age where we can have things delivered to our phones from the palms of our hands. Occasionally, I take the time to send small things that remind me of them through online shopping sites like Lazada and Zalora. This is especially useful for times wherein you can’t make it to someone’s big life event like their birthday, graduation or anniversary. Though a gift can’t possibly replace your physical presence, a small random token helps make you less guilty.
4. Follow your family traditions even when you’re alone
Our family used to go to Sunday mass together in the morning every week, and then we’d have lunch out. Even when I no longer lived with my parents, sticking to our tradition helped me adjust better to new places. I remember feeling a sense of community when I attended mass abroad, even if it was in a different language. I’m convinced that comforting traditions don’t have to be strictly religious though, because lunch out on lazy Sunday afternoons even with friends remind me of home too.
Though it’s important to stay connected to our roots and keep our families in mind, it’s important to be comfortable blending old traditions with new ones as we build new relationships and adjust to our new lives. We can miss people we love, but still be open to experience life without them. It is both difficult and necessary for us to build a support system outside our family to help us get through hard times that our families, as much as they love us, may not always understand.
