Quina Baterna

Within 7 seconds, people have already made their mind about you as a person; Here is how to make every second count.

You do not get a second chance at first impressions. While everyone knows you should smile, have good posture, and speak with confidence, not everyone knows what to say when you finally open your mouth.

If you are looking for a way to connect with people you are meeting for the first time right away, here are a few tips:

Use visual cues to identify recent activities

An easy way to break into a conversation is about something recent, apparent, and low risk. Utilize visual cues to identify recent changes that people have made. Changes can either be things that they regularly do that signify habits or new things that they are still seeking validation.

The first step in using visual cues is identifying the apparent changes that may or may not have been on purpose. For example, if you notice someone got a tan, you can observe if it is even or uneven.

If a tan is even, one can assume that it was on purpose, and the person came from a vacation or tanning salon. If the tan is uneven, you can bet that they got it through some outdoor physical activity such as playing sports, hiking, or watching something under the sun.

Visual cues on recent changes can be everything from freshly manicured hands, clean soles that mean new shoes, or scratches that may have come from interacting with pets. Vacations, pets, and sports are practical, and often vanilla ways to start a conversation.

Ask for a recommendation

What matters to people is often initially subtle but noticeable when you know where to look. Rather than notice things that are natural and require no effort, it is always best to point out positive things that they are conscious about improving.

A quick check what matters to people is by noticing the brands that they wear. Wearing or not wearing logos is their kind of statement. Whether or not the clothes are original or not doesn’t matter. More than their socioeconomic status, brand associations signify what this person values.

Rather than notice things that are natural and require no effort, it is always best to point out positive things that they are conscious about improving.

If they flash logos, the kinds of brands they show are reflective of how they want to be perceived. A woman wearing athleisure may not regularly go to the gym, but will gladly tell you her escapades in other forms of fitness activities like indoor cycling or yoga. A man wearing Air Jordans will likely enjoy something related to basketball.

Alternatively, you can also identify things like their sculpted eyebrows or the color of their lipsticks. Accessories like quirky socks, watches, or belts reveal a lot about men’s style. Getting recommendations from tried and tested products is a way to get people talking.

Shake someone’s hand

While eyes are windows into the soul, hands are doors to the body’s discipline. You can tell a lot about a person by not just the way they shake your hand, but also by their actual hand. A great way to understand what a person is like is through their calluses and bruises.

Calluses are adaptations to stress produced with time. They are signifiers of commitment, discipline, and caring more about what one can do rather than how they look.

While eyes are windows into the soul, hands are doors to the body’s discipline.

A musician such as a violinist, cellist, or guitarist will have calluses on their fingertips from pressing on strings. Dedicated golfers will have them at the distal, middle, and proximal phalanx. Serious weightlifters don’t use gloves because they hinder proper technique and will have calluses on their palm.

Another thing that you can attribute to lifestyle are bruises that come from gaming. Serious gamers will have different bruises placements depending on their console of preference.

When you shake someone’s hand, their particular calluses or bruises are reflective of dedication. You can steer the conversation towards topics that talk about skills that took time to develop. They will appreciate your own stories of overcoming and improving.

Bear in mind that while these signs are helpful, they are not absolute. You can infer things about people from these points but do not readily assume. Be sensitive to their reactions, and be prepared to pivot topics when you need to.

For a conversation to flow, one must first find a hook. Within the first second of meeting someone, you already have a dozen visual cues that tell you many things about them. It is up to you to extrapolate what those mean and use them effectively.